F YOU, T-MOBILE GIRL

I don’t even care what your name is. You’re no Catherine Zeta Jones, who actually, you know, dips beneath lasers.

Is there anything more to T-mobile’s marketing strategy than “look at this smug bitch in a pink dress”? T-Mobile’s marketing is the girl in middle school who thinks she’s hot shit and that everyone else should know it just by looking at her “you think you’re better than me?” smirk. No need to prove herself or make any argument about why she’s better than you; she’s just gonna stand there in a dumbass pink dress and heels and Barbie lipstick, staring at you until you acknowledge her superiority.

Derageifying Music

Ahhhhh. I need more Fila Brazilia in my life. Especially in my car.

In Soccer News

Meireles: Portuguese hipster footballer? Outdated photo, but I haven’t finished watching the Chelcelona match so I’m afraid to see more recent search results. Can’t you just seem him in a deep-V-neck with a scarf and cigarette? A la hipster, not just a la europe.

Speaking of Things Heineken Sponsors

I love watching soccer as much as I love watching Bond films. However, I believe only one of these is an appropriate place for a Heineken advertisement. I’m waiting to come up with/taking suggestions on humorous ways to protest this travesty. (“Picketing” movie theaters with martini glasses instead of signs comes to mind.)

OK, put them side by side and, wow. There IS no comparison.

Apparently they have been forced into this brand-prostitution due to budget constraints, about which this hilarious article was written. Heritage suggests: 

Q could knock up a cardboard pterodactyl so that Bond can adequately compete in the Birdman competition. Instead of giving 007 a swish Aston Martin, let’s just hope he can make do with a Megarider ticket for the number 60 bus to Chichester.

Speaking of Film Atrocities

It’s a Lifetime movie, so I’m not gonna get all heated about it, but LOL.

Just look at that picture; Liz Taylor (~age 40) and Lindsay Lohan have remarkably similar skin.